Welcome to NAGT’s first newsletter! Our goal is to send something out to members every month. The format and content may vary each time, but the ultimate goal is to provide our members helpful information, resources and ideas for navigating life with their gifted learner(s).
Since the holidays are upon us and our stress level tends to rise this time of year, I wanted to share some things from a book I recently read called Stressed Out! Solutions to Help Your Child Manage & Overcome Stress by Mary Anne Richey and James W. Forgan. Secret! The solutions in this book aren’t just for children. There were many ideas and strategies that I made a note of for myself. I can’t summarize the entire book for you, but I do want to share some of the things that really stood out to me. But before I do that, let’s get some definitions out of the way.
According to the authors, “stress is the body’s response to the demands and pressures that are experienced each day, some of which may contain perceived threats.” If you can learn to control the stress within your environment, then it becomes manageable and the effects won’t be overwhelming or exhausting.
A stressor is the stimulus that causes a stress response. Stressors come from a variety of sources and can be internal or external; major or minor.
Resiliency is the ability to cope with adversity. In the simplest of terms, it’s getting knocked down and getting back up while maintaining humanity. Children who are resilient will use their stress experiences to find solutions.
Anxiety is an unpleasant feeling of apprehension that alerts you to a potential threat. It is a very normal response to a situation when it provides the motivations and adrenaline to perform effectively. It is concerning when it negatively impacts activities, is unremitting, and becomes the standard for responding.
Stress and anxiety are often confused, but they are different things and have different impacts on us all. Stress can actually be negative or positive. Positive stress is what moves us forward and gets us motivated to accomplish things. It’s typically short-lived and manageable. Negative stress, on the other hand, is what occurs when our coping skills can’t get us through a situation. This kind of stress can be overwhelming and exhausting. This is what we need to help our children navigate with healthy coping skills.
Children learn by watching us, in good times and in bad. They watch us to see how we respond to the positive and negative stress, so one of the best things we can do (for us and for kids) is model good coping strategies. How do we make it through adverse situations? How do we treat others when we are under stress? What actions do we take? Stress will always be a part of our lives. I don’t know that we can eliminate it completely, but there are definitely some things we can do to minimize the negative stress in our lives. As the adult in a stressful situation, here are some things you can do to help your student(s) navigate the stresses of life.
- Don’t forget the impact of modeling
- Be present for your child and really listen
- Be patient
- Be mindful of your child’s developmental age
- Empower your child to be a problem solver
- Teach self-discipline
- Praise & reinforce effort more than results
- Lead with the positive
- Have realistic expectations
- Provide downtime
- Find your child’s passions
- Encourage independence
- Help your child understand that mistakes happen
- Encourage your child to have a growth mindset
- Help your child use “positive self-talk”
- Predictability and structure go a long way in helping a child manage stress
- Remember that kids have “big” ears
- Help your child learn proactive, healthy ways to handle stress
- Make sure you are providing healthy, nourishing meals, physical activity,and adequate sleep
The last suggestion from this particular chapter is simply “Laughter is good medicine.” The act of laughing releases endorphins and serotonin into the body. In turn, these endorphins raise the human ability to ignore
pain and the release of serotonin acts almost like an antidepressant. Additionally, laughter creates a social bond with others and fosters brain connectivity all while protecting your heart. For details on why laughter is such a great stress reducer, visit Six Science-Based Reasons Why Laughter Is The Best Medicine.
Perhaps most importantly, the greatest thing you can do for your child is empower him/her. Equip your child with the understanding that he/she is in charge of the response and that he/she has the ability to bring things back into balance.
GiftedTexanGirl 